It was Thursday, January 12 at 1:00 a.m. I stood in the kitchen holding my wife in my arms, her sobbing breaking the silence of the early morning. "I'm so scared." She said. Her bags were packed and the car was idling outside, both ready for her departure. We were not as ready. She was preparing to go on a mission trip with Awaken Haiti (www.awakenhaiti.com). She had never left our boys for more than 24 hours. She had no idea of what to expect in Haiti. She gets plane-sick. The fear was thick as we said our goodbyes. I was consciously reassuring, but I'm not sure that I masked my own fears. I wasn't worried about being a single parent for a week (I was confident in pizza take out and the durability of wearing jeans many days in a row). I was scared about my lack of control. I couldn't talk or communicate to her during this trip. I wouldn't know that she was ok. I couldn't care for or protect her. We were scared. We stood in the fear for a moment, prayed, and she left.
Fear is a powerful force. It's defined as a "distressing emotion by impending danger... whether the threat is real or imagined..." (dictionary.com). As a society, we don't like to recognize fear. We're conditioned to have a fear of fear. In turn, we make bumper stickers to negate the reality of fear, as some sort of invisible shield to ward of its effect on our Volkswagens. When we fail to recognize it, fear compels us toward addictions, avoidance, and apathy and drives us away from opportunity, trust, and courage. Often, fear is an emotion that we simply pretend isn't there, isn't real, and when we do this, fear is roots itself deeper in our backyards, poisoning the well.
Last week, the USA Today reported a story of an Alaskan couple who were out walking their two golden retrievers when a moose attacked the man, stomping him to the ground, breaking seven of his ribs in the process. When the moose came at her, she ran back to their truck, grabbed a shovel, and "hit it with everything [she] had." (USA Today, January 24, 2012).
Fear can be a healthy emotion. It allows us to sense danger, evaluate risk, and determine a response. Danger is a part of our world and fear is a tool to help us navigate through the choppy waters of risk. Mark Batterson, author of "In A Pit With A Lion On A Snowy Day" says, "The goal of life is not the elimination of fear. The goal is to muster the moral courage to [confront that fear]" (38). In fact, he says that in reflecting on our lives, we're more likely to regret the opportunities that we didn't seize, the ones that we missed sometimes because of fear, than those that we did and regretted. To achieve all that we've been created to be, we must find the courage to face our fears. Batterson says, "One courageous choice may be the only thing between you and your dream becoming a reality" (123).
Our friends, Jeff and Deb Denglinger felt a call to serve the people of Haiti a few years ago. As their role in developing Awaken Haiti began to crystallize, it became apparent to them that they were called to actually move to Haiti. Jeff had a successful construction business and they have three school aged children. The fear of moving to a place of such uncertainty and need was breathtaking. Yet, they sold everything and moved their family to Haiti. They entered the ocean of fear with a triple summersault dive.
Legendary boxing trainer Cus D'Amato said, "Heroes and cowards feel exactly the same fear. Heroes just react to it differently." Our mental health is best served when we identify the fear for what it is - an emotional response. From there, we can determine if the fear is resulting from something real or imagined. In turn, we can call on what's needed in response. It might be unlearning an irrational fear. It might be battling back an imagined fear with reality and truth. Or, it might be calling on something greater within us to not cower from the fear, but to stand against it and walk through it.
My wife went on her trip to Haiti. She was lonely, afraid, and scared in many ways. Yet, walking through that fear to serve others in Haiti offered her a life-changing experience. Most significantly, she observed that many Haitians who live in desolate and deplorable conditions, have an interesting response to their fears - joy. Their joy drowns their fears. My wife is finding new life in this truth only because she stood in her fear and made the trip to Haiti.
Likewise, the Denlingers are living new lives of significance, accessible only because they stepped into their fear of moving to Haiti. In their words, "We've been challenged to take back our faith from the American dream, to live life 'Wide Awake'... to live a life that demands an explanation..." This, an opportunity only available by diving into their fear.
The Alaskan couple escaped the moose attack, as did their dogs. The 85 year old woman who stood 5 feet tall and weighs 97 pounds faced fear and beat it back with a shovel.
Fear can be a violently destructive emotion that destroys lives, squelches opportunities, and numbs us to living life "wide awake." Or, it can be a healthy emotion that is a tool that we use to grow in courage, trust, and experience. Maybe the fear you face today isn't about packing up your family and moving to Haiti. Maybe it's about making healthier choices for your life, or a seizing a new opportunity that seems risky, or ending or starting a new relationship. Whatever the case, don't let fear be a barrier to a better you.
Author and blogger Ann Voskamp says this, "Today is always the best day to end the fears and begin being the best you... The relief is in the release of everything into the hands of God... abandon and abide - all is well."
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental health. Show all posts
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Living Slow
My friend recently returned from a missions trip with Awaken Haiti (www.awakenhaiti.org). He told the story of a Haitian woman who recently enjoyed an improved quality of life in moving from a long-term tent home to a more permanent structure. Rustic and rudimentary, her new shelter offered protection from the elements and offered her the opportunity to make it her home. While doing so, she had decorated her walls with an array of colorful pictures from children who had crafted the drawings in a recent Vacation Bible School event. Her complete contentment was evident in the gifts of moving from long-term tenting and receiving colorful creations from smiling children. Gratitude and joy were thick and seeped from the walls of the shelter. As my friend reflected on the story, he recounted how they set out on the trip to serve Haitians in need. But, who, he wondered aloud, was really being helped and rescued in the experience? Who was poor? Who was rich in life and happiness?
A recent excerpt from the Wall Street Journal (Lahart, Justin) discussed a recent poll (General Social Survey, University of Chicago) that showed the number of Americans who said that they were "very happy" fell to 29% last year. This number has dropped since the recession began and is at the lowest level in the 39-year history of the survey. Lahart says, "... people tend to measure how happy they are not just by the impact of such [economic] forces on their lives but also by comparing their circumstances with their neighbors." If Lahart's theory is true and the happiness index of our society parallels the economy and how well we perceive ourselves to be keeping up with the Jones', perhaps we need rescued.
While I didn't have the opportunity to speak with her, from my friend's retelling of the story I'm sensing that Haitian Woman's happiness factor was fairly high, even in the midst of political instability and environmental turmoil. She had a roof over her head. She had colorful pictures birthed from the hearts of children. She had relationships. Though thousands of miles separate, Haitain Woman's thankful heart illuminates the dark places of my ungratefulness and arrogant self-focus; as I write the conviction grows.
In news from the same day, the Wall Street Journal also reported that News Corp. sold Myspace to a small ad-targeting firm for $35 million. News Corp. purchased Myspace for $580 million six years ago. I'm guessing that News Corp.'s happiness factor is low. Perhaps Myspace is registering a "not too happy" on the scale as well because they certainly haven't kept up with their neighbors at Facebook. Pity.
In this column, we discuss wellness. Often, this includes prescriptions for more activity, exercise, and increased attention to improving our positions of health. When the discussion ends there, we have a tendency to file and pile these well-intentioned tasks on top of our to-do-lists, already bursting at capacity. However, we're remiss if the conversation about wellness doesn't extend to our mental health as well. And the dichotomy between physical and mental wellness is in the pace. While improving our physical health involves increasing our pace of activity, the fog of our mental health is best cleared by living slow.
Author Ann Voskamp (One Thousand Gifts), illustrates this idea well. In a recent blog post she writes about her reflections during a train ride with her family. "Living slow never killed time like hurrying does; hurrying is what races fast, catches up and kills time. Who thinks that doesn’t wound eternity? I’m the one who speeds up the train. Do I have the courage to just slow down? Life’s blurring lull too often sways me into drowsy apathy. But as the train lurches, I am jolted awake, aware: Go slow to see."
Haitian Woman's joy isn't drowned by the state of her circumstances, it's bubbling up within them. Living slow, she finds happiness in the abundance of gifts that surround her daily. Shelter. The Creator's creation: bright sun, blue sky, rains of grace. Children's imaginations drawn carefully careless, smudged with laughter. Do we really desire more out of life than the happiness found by Haitian Woman? Could we really race past her state of affairs to seek the sweet sap of life from our sour position to our neighbors economic condition? Rescue is in order and is found in the simple, wonderfully complex life.
In writing this piece, I'm reminded of the countess blessings that I'm immersed in every day. So many gifts. And the weight of my mental health tangibly lightens, brightens.
As you consider wellness, be encouraged to increase your physical activity and make healthier choices daily. But, do it in tandem with living slow. Be awake, aware, and see.
A recent excerpt from the Wall Street Journal (Lahart, Justin) discussed a recent poll (General Social Survey, University of Chicago) that showed the number of Americans who said that they were "very happy" fell to 29% last year. This number has dropped since the recession began and is at the lowest level in the 39-year history of the survey. Lahart says, "... people tend to measure how happy they are not just by the impact of such [economic] forces on their lives but also by comparing their circumstances with their neighbors." If Lahart's theory is true and the happiness index of our society parallels the economy and how well we perceive ourselves to be keeping up with the Jones', perhaps we need rescued.
While I didn't have the opportunity to speak with her, from my friend's retelling of the story I'm sensing that Haitian Woman's happiness factor was fairly high, even in the midst of political instability and environmental turmoil. She had a roof over her head. She had colorful pictures birthed from the hearts of children. She had relationships. Though thousands of miles separate, Haitain Woman's thankful heart illuminates the dark places of my ungratefulness and arrogant self-focus; as I write the conviction grows.
In news from the same day, the Wall Street Journal also reported that News Corp. sold Myspace to a small ad-targeting firm for $35 million. News Corp. purchased Myspace for $580 million six years ago. I'm guessing that News Corp.'s happiness factor is low. Perhaps Myspace is registering a "not too happy" on the scale as well because they certainly haven't kept up with their neighbors at Facebook. Pity.
In this column, we discuss wellness. Often, this includes prescriptions for more activity, exercise, and increased attention to improving our positions of health. When the discussion ends there, we have a tendency to file and pile these well-intentioned tasks on top of our to-do-lists, already bursting at capacity. However, we're remiss if the conversation about wellness doesn't extend to our mental health as well. And the dichotomy between physical and mental wellness is in the pace. While improving our physical health involves increasing our pace of activity, the fog of our mental health is best cleared by living slow.
Author Ann Voskamp (One Thousand Gifts), illustrates this idea well. In a recent blog post she writes about her reflections during a train ride with her family. "Living slow never killed time like hurrying does; hurrying is what races fast, catches up and kills time. Who thinks that doesn’t wound eternity? I’m the one who speeds up the train. Do I have the courage to just slow down? Life’s blurring lull too often sways me into drowsy apathy. But as the train lurches, I am jolted awake, aware: Go slow to see."
Haitian Woman's joy isn't drowned by the state of her circumstances, it's bubbling up within them. Living slow, she finds happiness in the abundance of gifts that surround her daily. Shelter. The Creator's creation: bright sun, blue sky, rains of grace. Children's imaginations drawn carefully careless, smudged with laughter. Do we really desire more out of life than the happiness found by Haitian Woman? Could we really race past her state of affairs to seek the sweet sap of life from our sour position to our neighbors economic condition? Rescue is in order and is found in the simple, wonderfully complex life.
In writing this piece, I'm reminded of the countess blessings that I'm immersed in every day. So many gifts. And the weight of my mental health tangibly lightens, brightens.
As you consider wellness, be encouraged to increase your physical activity and make healthier choices daily. But, do it in tandem with living slow. Be awake, aware, and see.
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