When my wife and I were dating, she told me about a tradition that her family celebrated during birthdays. When it was your birthday, after you took your first bite of cake, if anyone could make you talk before you finished your piece of cake, you had to finish eating your cake under the table. Huh? While a bit afraid of what future gatherings with the in-laws might become, I chalked it up to the fact that they were from Wisconsin and I married her anyway (luckily)! When the average annual temperature in Northern Wisconsin is 39 degrees F, I guess there isn't much to do except celebrate quirky, eat-your-cake-under-the-table traditions.
An editorial by Rainer Kocsis reads, "Tradition is generally defined as long-standing beliefs, practices or customs that have been passed on from one generation to the next. As humans begin to understand a heretofore unknown world of medical marvels and instant communication, traditions are being lost as humans misunderstand the value of tradition." We live in a culture where innovation often trumps tradition and not always to the benefit of society.
Traditions create bonds and facilitate memories. They deepen relationships and provide motivation to connect. In short, traditions are the underpinnings for healthy communities as they weave us together in a common way.
When this article prints, the Y will have held our 8th Annual Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. The event has grown from a few hundred participants to an anticipated 1,700 friends, families, and neighbors this year. The event have moved beyond a way to get a bit of exercise before a big Thanksgiving meal, to an event that the community celebrates. Awareness is raised for good causes as teams of people where color coordinated shirts during the race! People in costume heighten the festivities and entertain the kids! Smaller communities of churches and neighborhoods and coworkers and friends come together in a larger gathering to celebrate the day and be thankful for what we too often take for granted, all while strengthening the foundations of community through honoring traditions.
This holiday season, be intentional about honoring, celebrating, or even creating traditions with your family or friends. One of our friends takes strips of paper and writes something that they are thankful for each day throughout the holiday season, culminating in a paper chain of thankfulness that they string across their living room. At our home, we have birthday cake on Christmas morning to celebrate the the birth of Jesus. (While we value the faith focus that this tradition brings, we're still not certain that the additional sugar load on Christmas morning is a good idea for the lil' ones. And we haven't yet figured out how to explain why Jesus would want us to sit under the table to eat cake). We used to live in Las Vegas, a very transient city, and a former coworker always had a large holiday celebration where they invited everyone that they knew that didn't have family local. It was a great time. Another family that we know chooses a toy or piece of clothing that they like and that is in good condition and boxes them up for a family in need, symbolizing the value of not just giving off the top, but giving something of value and importance.
This season, hold onto positive, healthy traditions. Whether it's running a 5k in a Pilgrim costume or eating your birthday cake under the table, it's in these moments that our stories are written... and valued... and remembered. Happy Holidays!
Showing posts with label healthy relationships. Show all posts
Showing posts with label healthy relationships. Show all posts
Monday, November 22, 2010
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Healthiest People I Know
There is a group of people that frequent the Y who are fondly referred to as the breakfast bunch. They spend a few hours at the Y most weekday mornings, but physical exercise occupies only a portion of their time. They arrive before sunrise and warmly greet each other, making small talk with the Y staff along the way. They each get their workout in, ranging from shooting hoops to lap swimming to visiting the Fitness Center. After showering, they gather at the tables in the lobby and wind down the morning sharing about their weeks, their families, and their lives. Sometimes, they follow up their Y visit by going out to breakfast. They enjoy their time together. I believe this is the healthiest group of people at the Y.
In spite of technology that allows us to connect with more people, more efficiently, we are a society of individuals becoming increasingly isolated. Busy schedules prevent deepening relationships and friendships become categorized networks. This is unhealthy.
Scientifically, we began to see the ill effects of isolation from Dr. Lisa Berman's Alameda County Study (originally published 1979). In the study, her team looked at the lives of 7,000 people in Alameda County over 9 years. They studied the quantity (number of relationships) and quality (depth of relationships) that these people had developed. In short, the study showed that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die versus those with stronger, healthier social bonds. Variables proved irrelevant, both in age and lifestyle. "The protective value of connection [relationships] showed, under statistical multivariate analysis, to be present in all ages [30-69]... [and] even in the presence of health hazards such as smoking, obesity, alcohol use, poverty, poor use of health services, and poor health at the start of the study, people who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than those who did not." (Hallowell, Edward M. Connect).
The key to those who were most healthy and lived longer were those who had several kinds of connections. These included churches, family, friends, clubs, service groups, and similar social organizations. The connections varied from person to person, but ultimately the more deep relationships, the better. Those who were in the most danger of dying were the 10-15% who were most isolated. Similar studies conducted internationally have replicated these findings over the past 30 years. (Hallowell, Connect).
There is a retired couple who comes into the Y daily. During my first days working at the Y, the gentleman (always recognizable in Miami Hurricanes gear) yelled across the lobby, "Who are you?" I introduced myself. "Well, Tuckey," he said, "the coffee pot is not getting as hot as it used to. Fix that and you'll have done something around here." Since that time, we've developed a friendship. We talk regularly about faith, sports, and heating systems. These folks will tell you that they come to this place for exercise, but most importantly they come here to visit their "family." Their friends are here. Their loved ones are here. And the Y wouldn't be the same place without them.
In a recent health journal, two BYU professors reported that social connections can improve our odds of survival by 50 percent (PLoS Medicine). According to them, social isolation or low social interaction compares to these well known risk factors: smoking 15 cigarettes a day, alcoholism, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity.
Will finding a new friend solve your health challenges and ensure a long life? Not necessarily. However, science continues to show that investing in people, valuing relationships, and dedicating time to listening to and learning from others is emotionally and physically beneficial. Humans are hard wired for personal and supernatural connections. Eat healthy, exercise, and don't starve yourself of relationships. It all matters.
In spite of technology that allows us to connect with more people, more efficiently, we are a society of individuals becoming increasingly isolated. Busy schedules prevent deepening relationships and friendships become categorized networks. This is unhealthy.
Scientifically, we began to see the ill effects of isolation from Dr. Lisa Berman's Alameda County Study (originally published 1979). In the study, her team looked at the lives of 7,000 people in Alameda County over 9 years. They studied the quantity (number of relationships) and quality (depth of relationships) that these people had developed. In short, the study showed that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die versus those with stronger, healthier social bonds. Variables proved irrelevant, both in age and lifestyle. "The protective value of connection [relationships] showed, under statistical multivariate analysis, to be present in all ages [30-69]... [and] even in the presence of health hazards such as smoking, obesity, alcohol use, poverty, poor use of health services, and poor health at the start of the study, people who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than those who did not." (Hallowell, Edward M. Connect).
The key to those who were most healthy and lived longer were those who had several kinds of connections. These included churches, family, friends, clubs, service groups, and similar social organizations. The connections varied from person to person, but ultimately the more deep relationships, the better. Those who were in the most danger of dying were the 10-15% who were most isolated. Similar studies conducted internationally have replicated these findings over the past 30 years. (Hallowell, Connect).
There is a retired couple who comes into the Y daily. During my first days working at the Y, the gentleman (always recognizable in Miami Hurricanes gear) yelled across the lobby, "Who are you?" I introduced myself. "Well, Tuckey," he said, "the coffee pot is not getting as hot as it used to. Fix that and you'll have done something around here." Since that time, we've developed a friendship. We talk regularly about faith, sports, and heating systems. These folks will tell you that they come to this place for exercise, but most importantly they come here to visit their "family." Their friends are here. Their loved ones are here. And the Y wouldn't be the same place without them.
In a recent health journal, two BYU professors reported that social connections can improve our odds of survival by 50 percent (PLoS Medicine). According to them, social isolation or low social interaction compares to these well known risk factors: smoking 15 cigarettes a day, alcoholism, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity.
Will finding a new friend solve your health challenges and ensure a long life? Not necessarily. However, science continues to show that investing in people, valuing relationships, and dedicating time to listening to and learning from others is emotionally and physically beneficial. Humans are hard wired for personal and supernatural connections. Eat healthy, exercise, and don't starve yourself of relationships. It all matters.
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