There are days when I long for the simplicity of life that my kids enjoy. They love their parents and gain security through the love that they receive from us. They're eager to learn, grow, discover the world through the joy of play. They laugh at each other and at themselves. They imagine themselves in exciting adventures. They're fully awake and present until the moment that they finally drift off to sleep at night. Their lives are simple. Their joy of living isn't choked out by the weeds of stress and worry. In their innocence, they make simple choices that provide them with a better reality.
My wife is reading a book entitled, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are (Voskamp, Ann). The book is about finding hope in the ordinary. The author started the book on a dare to keep a list of the many things that bring her joy. The list contains many ordinary things like the sun shining through the window, the smell of cookies baking, or a beautiful landscape that you see on a summer stroll. The book focuses on finding joy and experiencing happiness through being attentive to the thousands of blessings that we have each day. She makes simple choices of gratitude that provide her with a more joyful reality.
Rueters recently ran an article that also discussed simple changes that can change our reality for the better. (Kelland, Kate. Simple Life Changes Could Stop Millions of Cancers). The article says that about one-third of all common cancers can be prevented through simple life changes such as eating healthier, drinking less alcohol, and exercising more. Cancer is the leading cause of death around the world, killing 7.6 million people each year. This number is projected to climb to 13.2 million people a year in 2030. Low levels of physical activity are the leading cause of many of these cancers. (The World Health Organization recommends that adults get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week). In short, simple changes can save your life.
Consider the time that you have on this earth and what story you are writing with your life. Make small changes to write a better story. (Thanks to Don Miller for this illustration). Learn from children to laugh at yourself and with others. Create more margin in your life and be thankful for the ordinary. Do your part to prevent cancer: eat healthier, stop smoking, walk more. Find more life in simplicity!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Different Kind of Strength
After seeing a YouTube clip of the the memorable crane-kick scene of the original Karate Kid, my five-year-old son begged me to watch the entire movie. While I immediately broke out my checkered Vans, stone-washed jeans, loaded up the "You're the Best" theme song, and prepared to enjoy the movie with my son; my wife was hesitant. "They're not going to get it, our boys will just end up doing karate on each other." After a month of my wife getting sad eyes from my sons and persuasive arguments from me about the positive themes of the film, she caved. We rented the 2010 version and watched the movie together. If anyone hasn't seen the movie (and I can't imagine a scenario where someone could not have seen any film in the Karate Kid series), the premise is that work causes a single mom to move to China and her young son finds himself scared, confused, and in a place of experiencing great weakness. He turns to Kung Fu, taught to him by a maintenance man master. The boy finds life lessons and strength through his relationship with the master. After a week of time outs for the boys doing karate on each other, we had a family discussion about the lessons of the movie. First, as Mr. Han said, "The best fights are the ones we avoid." Next, an important lesson was that the boy found a strength in someone else that he couldn't have found in himself. He found strength beyond anything that he could possess on his own through another person.
I recently read a blog authored by a friend, John Ulsh. John was living the American Dream with a wonderful family and a successful career when on December, 2007, John and his family were hit head-on while driving home from a swim meet. John was flown to Hershey Medical Center with little chance of survival. His family had serious, but less threatening injuries. John now maintains a blog (http://remotivate.wordpress.com/) where he discusses his recovery from a variety of aspects. It's powerful and motivational. I particularly enjoyed this excerpt from a recent post: "Trust is always easier when things are going well or when things are so bad that you are unable to do things for yourself. Trust becomes a completely different thing when it is blind or when you could just do it yourself, but instead put your faith in another person or process. I trust God has a plan. I believe my calling is to live each day with passion and conviction and to be open to His plan in every experience." His blog reflects a self-reliant, successful man forced to depend on others in ways that he might never have imagined. Yet, through the process he finds strength beyond anything he could possess on his own.
The same storyline appears in Scripture. In 2 Corinthians 12 (NLT), the apostle Paul talks of a struggle that he is having, a weakness he is experiencing, a "thorn in his flesh." Paul writes, "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me." This revelation was a perspective-changer for Paul to say the least. Instead of asking God to relieve him of his weakness, he embraced the weakness because he knew a greater power was found in something other than himself.
This storyline unfolds daily at places like the Carlisle Family YMCA. Someone can purchase a workout DVD and will themselves to exercise in their living room. Some are successful. Many are not. Conversely, when people enter into community, their will and motivation is increased as it is pulled from others during times of weakness. This is easily identified in pursuit of a physical goal (Don't feel like running today? It's much more likely you won't bail if you are supposed to do it with a friend). However, the idea of finding emotional and spiritual strength in our own weakness flourishes in communities like the Y as well. (Just see the uncertain child gaining confidence from participating in a team sport or the teen increasing their faith from a corporate outing with their peers at camp or the notes of encouragement pulled together by friends when someone from their group has been absent for a time) These moments are wrapped in humility, respect, and a maturity to recognize that this life isn't about you. It's about something more. And as you experience that, you find a different kind of strength - a strength that can only be found in weakness.
I recently read a blog authored by a friend, John Ulsh. John was living the American Dream with a wonderful family and a successful career when on December, 2007, John and his family were hit head-on while driving home from a swim meet. John was flown to Hershey Medical Center with little chance of survival. His family had serious, but less threatening injuries. John now maintains a blog (http://remotivate.wordpress.com/) where he discusses his recovery from a variety of aspects. It's powerful and motivational. I particularly enjoyed this excerpt from a recent post: "Trust is always easier when things are going well or when things are so bad that you are unable to do things for yourself. Trust becomes a completely different thing when it is blind or when you could just do it yourself, but instead put your faith in another person or process. I trust God has a plan. I believe my calling is to live each day with passion and conviction and to be open to His plan in every experience." His blog reflects a self-reliant, successful man forced to depend on others in ways that he might never have imagined. Yet, through the process he finds strength beyond anything he could possess on his own.
The same storyline appears in Scripture. In 2 Corinthians 12 (NLT), the apostle Paul talks of a struggle that he is having, a weakness he is experiencing, a "thorn in his flesh." Paul writes, "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me." This revelation was a perspective-changer for Paul to say the least. Instead of asking God to relieve him of his weakness, he embraced the weakness because he knew a greater power was found in something other than himself.
This storyline unfolds daily at places like the Carlisle Family YMCA. Someone can purchase a workout DVD and will themselves to exercise in their living room. Some are successful. Many are not. Conversely, when people enter into community, their will and motivation is increased as it is pulled from others during times of weakness. This is easily identified in pursuit of a physical goal (Don't feel like running today? It's much more likely you won't bail if you are supposed to do it with a friend). However, the idea of finding emotional and spiritual strength in our own weakness flourishes in communities like the Y as well. (Just see the uncertain child gaining confidence from participating in a team sport or the teen increasing their faith from a corporate outing with their peers at camp or the notes of encouragement pulled together by friends when someone from their group has been absent for a time) These moments are wrapped in humility, respect, and a maturity to recognize that this life isn't about you. It's about something more. And as you experience that, you find a different kind of strength - a strength that can only be found in weakness.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Short Term Pain Equals Long Term Change
It is my second year as a volunteer Youth Basketball Coach at the Y. It's so much fun to have the opportunity to coach my son, as well as interact with the other kids. Last Saturday, our first game was about to begin. One 5-year-old was struggling with a case of the nerves and was crying to go home. His mother brought him to me and explained the situation. I asked the young man if he would just stick around and sit with his mom. If he felt better later, then he could come over and join the team. It wasn't long before the nerves were gone and this little guy was on the bench ready to play. He got in the game, our team scored some points, and everyone was cheering, high-fiving, and having fun. At the end of the first quarter, with the team seated on the bench, the same young man spoke up. "Coach," he said somewhat out of breath, "this is the greatest day of my life."
I have a friend who is estranged from his daughter. Following a family tragedy, the daughter made many poor and destructive decisions many of which have been difficult for the remaining family to forgive. After years of non-communication, my friend has initiated connection and family counseling with his daughter. My friend knows full well that the next steps involve pain, fear, and raw emotion that has been ignored for far too long. But, he knows that at the end of that road lies hope and reconciliation.
Many people come into the Y with the New Year's Resolution of losing weight or becoming more fit. There are countless stories of people who started with a similar goal and have transformed that goal into significant life change. They become healthier in spirit, mind, and body. However, the road to a new you is painful at the start. It involves trading new, healthier foods for the comfort foods you crave. It involves making time for activity and exercise in what is already terribly busy schedules. For many other people, the resolutions unfortunately fizzle in the sometimes difficult first steps. But, for those who stick with it, small changes lead to different attitudes and behaviors that lead to healthier people.
I know people who have recently given up the chew. After a very difficult first 30 days of nervousness, shaky hands, and foul moods, the cravings lightened and the time and money previously spent on an addiction was directed toward other, more meaningful things. And they didn't have to worry about the spit cup spilling on the carpet, a definite bonus.
The point is simple. Change means facing our fears and moving from the comfortable to the uncomfortable. Change involves persevering through tough first steps. Getting to the "better" often means having a willingness to deal with the "worse." A mentor says that we bury our issues in our backyards thinking that we can hide them. Of course, the issues don't go away, they just poison the well. The only way to take care of this is to dig up our issues and deal with them. This involves time, effort, and an openness to working through the junk in our lives. But, at the end of the day their is something better, something more than the mundane of getting through another day.
So, if it's deep emotional things that you are wrestling with, a resolution to be healthier, or if it's just a bit of anxiety over the first basketball game, I'd encourage you to strive through the painful beginnings because in the end, you might just find "the best day of your life!"
I have a friend who is estranged from his daughter. Following a family tragedy, the daughter made many poor and destructive decisions many of which have been difficult for the remaining family to forgive. After years of non-communication, my friend has initiated connection and family counseling with his daughter. My friend knows full well that the next steps involve pain, fear, and raw emotion that has been ignored for far too long. But, he knows that at the end of that road lies hope and reconciliation.
Many people come into the Y with the New Year's Resolution of losing weight or becoming more fit. There are countless stories of people who started with a similar goal and have transformed that goal into significant life change. They become healthier in spirit, mind, and body. However, the road to a new you is painful at the start. It involves trading new, healthier foods for the comfort foods you crave. It involves making time for activity and exercise in what is already terribly busy schedules. For many other people, the resolutions unfortunately fizzle in the sometimes difficult first steps. But, for those who stick with it, small changes lead to different attitudes and behaviors that lead to healthier people.
I know people who have recently given up the chew. After a very difficult first 30 days of nervousness, shaky hands, and foul moods, the cravings lightened and the time and money previously spent on an addiction was directed toward other, more meaningful things. And they didn't have to worry about the spit cup spilling on the carpet, a definite bonus.
The point is simple. Change means facing our fears and moving from the comfortable to the uncomfortable. Change involves persevering through tough first steps. Getting to the "better" often means having a willingness to deal with the "worse." A mentor says that we bury our issues in our backyards thinking that we can hide them. Of course, the issues don't go away, they just poison the well. The only way to take care of this is to dig up our issues and deal with them. This involves time, effort, and an openness to working through the junk in our lives. But, at the end of the day their is something better, something more than the mundane of getting through another day.
So, if it's deep emotional things that you are wrestling with, a resolution to be healthier, or if it's just a bit of anxiety over the first basketball game, I'd encourage you to strive through the painful beginnings because in the end, you might just find "the best day of your life!"
Monday, November 22, 2010
Traditions
When my wife and I were dating, she told me about a tradition that her family celebrated during birthdays. When it was your birthday, after you took your first bite of cake, if anyone could make you talk before you finished your piece of cake, you had to finish eating your cake under the table. Huh? While a bit afraid of what future gatherings with the in-laws might become, I chalked it up to the fact that they were from Wisconsin and I married her anyway (luckily)! When the average annual temperature in Northern Wisconsin is 39 degrees F, I guess there isn't much to do except celebrate quirky, eat-your-cake-under-the-table traditions.
An editorial by Rainer Kocsis reads, "Tradition is generally defined as long-standing beliefs, practices or customs that have been passed on from one generation to the next. As humans begin to understand a heretofore unknown world of medical marvels and instant communication, traditions are being lost as humans misunderstand the value of tradition." We live in a culture where innovation often trumps tradition and not always to the benefit of society.
Traditions create bonds and facilitate memories. They deepen relationships and provide motivation to connect. In short, traditions are the underpinnings for healthy communities as they weave us together in a common way.
When this article prints, the Y will have held our 8th Annual Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. The event has grown from a few hundred participants to an anticipated 1,700 friends, families, and neighbors this year. The event have moved beyond a way to get a bit of exercise before a big Thanksgiving meal, to an event that the community celebrates. Awareness is raised for good causes as teams of people where color coordinated shirts during the race! People in costume heighten the festivities and entertain the kids! Smaller communities of churches and neighborhoods and coworkers and friends come together in a larger gathering to celebrate the day and be thankful for what we too often take for granted, all while strengthening the foundations of community through honoring traditions.
This holiday season, be intentional about honoring, celebrating, or even creating traditions with your family or friends. One of our friends takes strips of paper and writes something that they are thankful for each day throughout the holiday season, culminating in a paper chain of thankfulness that they string across their living room. At our home, we have birthday cake on Christmas morning to celebrate the the birth of Jesus. (While we value the faith focus that this tradition brings, we're still not certain that the additional sugar load on Christmas morning is a good idea for the lil' ones. And we haven't yet figured out how to explain why Jesus would want us to sit under the table to eat cake). We used to live in Las Vegas, a very transient city, and a former coworker always had a large holiday celebration where they invited everyone that they knew that didn't have family local. It was a great time. Another family that we know chooses a toy or piece of clothing that they like and that is in good condition and boxes them up for a family in need, symbolizing the value of not just giving off the top, but giving something of value and importance.
This season, hold onto positive, healthy traditions. Whether it's running a 5k in a Pilgrim costume or eating your birthday cake under the table, it's in these moments that our stories are written... and valued... and remembered. Happy Holidays!
An editorial by Rainer Kocsis reads, "Tradition is generally defined as long-standing beliefs, practices or customs that have been passed on from one generation to the next. As humans begin to understand a heretofore unknown world of medical marvels and instant communication, traditions are being lost as humans misunderstand the value of tradition." We live in a culture where innovation often trumps tradition and not always to the benefit of society.
Traditions create bonds and facilitate memories. They deepen relationships and provide motivation to connect. In short, traditions are the underpinnings for healthy communities as they weave us together in a common way.
When this article prints, the Y will have held our 8th Annual Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. The event has grown from a few hundred participants to an anticipated 1,700 friends, families, and neighbors this year. The event have moved beyond a way to get a bit of exercise before a big Thanksgiving meal, to an event that the community celebrates. Awareness is raised for good causes as teams of people where color coordinated shirts during the race! People in costume heighten the festivities and entertain the kids! Smaller communities of churches and neighborhoods and coworkers and friends come together in a larger gathering to celebrate the day and be thankful for what we too often take for granted, all while strengthening the foundations of community through honoring traditions.
This holiday season, be intentional about honoring, celebrating, or even creating traditions with your family or friends. One of our friends takes strips of paper and writes something that they are thankful for each day throughout the holiday season, culminating in a paper chain of thankfulness that they string across their living room. At our home, we have birthday cake on Christmas morning to celebrate the the birth of Jesus. (While we value the faith focus that this tradition brings, we're still not certain that the additional sugar load on Christmas morning is a good idea for the lil' ones. And we haven't yet figured out how to explain why Jesus would want us to sit under the table to eat cake). We used to live in Las Vegas, a very transient city, and a former coworker always had a large holiday celebration where they invited everyone that they knew that didn't have family local. It was a great time. Another family that we know chooses a toy or piece of clothing that they like and that is in good condition and boxes them up for a family in need, symbolizing the value of not just giving off the top, but giving something of value and importance.
This season, hold onto positive, healthy traditions. Whether it's running a 5k in a Pilgrim costume or eating your birthday cake under the table, it's in these moments that our stories are written... and valued... and remembered. Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Healthiest People I Know
There is a group of people that frequent the Y who are fondly referred to as the breakfast bunch. They spend a few hours at the Y most weekday mornings, but physical exercise occupies only a portion of their time. They arrive before sunrise and warmly greet each other, making small talk with the Y staff along the way. They each get their workout in, ranging from shooting hoops to lap swimming to visiting the Fitness Center. After showering, they gather at the tables in the lobby and wind down the morning sharing about their weeks, their families, and their lives. Sometimes, they follow up their Y visit by going out to breakfast. They enjoy their time together. I believe this is the healthiest group of people at the Y.
In spite of technology that allows us to connect with more people, more efficiently, we are a society of individuals becoming increasingly isolated. Busy schedules prevent deepening relationships and friendships become categorized networks. This is unhealthy.
Scientifically, we began to see the ill effects of isolation from Dr. Lisa Berman's Alameda County Study (originally published 1979). In the study, her team looked at the lives of 7,000 people in Alameda County over 9 years. They studied the quantity (number of relationships) and quality (depth of relationships) that these people had developed. In short, the study showed that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die versus those with stronger, healthier social bonds. Variables proved irrelevant, both in age and lifestyle. "The protective value of connection [relationships] showed, under statistical multivariate analysis, to be present in all ages [30-69]... [and] even in the presence of health hazards such as smoking, obesity, alcohol use, poverty, poor use of health services, and poor health at the start of the study, people who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than those who did not." (Hallowell, Edward M. Connect).
The key to those who were most healthy and lived longer were those who had several kinds of connections. These included churches, family, friends, clubs, service groups, and similar social organizations. The connections varied from person to person, but ultimately the more deep relationships, the better. Those who were in the most danger of dying were the 10-15% who were most isolated. Similar studies conducted internationally have replicated these findings over the past 30 years. (Hallowell, Connect).
There is a retired couple who comes into the Y daily. During my first days working at the Y, the gentleman (always recognizable in Miami Hurricanes gear) yelled across the lobby, "Who are you?" I introduced myself. "Well, Tuckey," he said, "the coffee pot is not getting as hot as it used to. Fix that and you'll have done something around here." Since that time, we've developed a friendship. We talk regularly about faith, sports, and heating systems. These folks will tell you that they come to this place for exercise, but most importantly they come here to visit their "family." Their friends are here. Their loved ones are here. And the Y wouldn't be the same place without them.
In a recent health journal, two BYU professors reported that social connections can improve our odds of survival by 50 percent (PLoS Medicine). According to them, social isolation or low social interaction compares to these well known risk factors: smoking 15 cigarettes a day, alcoholism, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity.
Will finding a new friend solve your health challenges and ensure a long life? Not necessarily. However, science continues to show that investing in people, valuing relationships, and dedicating time to listening to and learning from others is emotionally and physically beneficial. Humans are hard wired for personal and supernatural connections. Eat healthy, exercise, and don't starve yourself of relationships. It all matters.
In spite of technology that allows us to connect with more people, more efficiently, we are a society of individuals becoming increasingly isolated. Busy schedules prevent deepening relationships and friendships become categorized networks. This is unhealthy.
Scientifically, we began to see the ill effects of isolation from Dr. Lisa Berman's Alameda County Study (originally published 1979). In the study, her team looked at the lives of 7,000 people in Alameda County over 9 years. They studied the quantity (number of relationships) and quality (depth of relationships) that these people had developed. In short, the study showed that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die versus those with stronger, healthier social bonds. Variables proved irrelevant, both in age and lifestyle. "The protective value of connection [relationships] showed, under statistical multivariate analysis, to be present in all ages [30-69]... [and] even in the presence of health hazards such as smoking, obesity, alcohol use, poverty, poor use of health services, and poor health at the start of the study, people who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than those who did not." (Hallowell, Edward M. Connect).
The key to those who were most healthy and lived longer were those who had several kinds of connections. These included churches, family, friends, clubs, service groups, and similar social organizations. The connections varied from person to person, but ultimately the more deep relationships, the better. Those who were in the most danger of dying were the 10-15% who were most isolated. Similar studies conducted internationally have replicated these findings over the past 30 years. (Hallowell, Connect).
There is a retired couple who comes into the Y daily. During my first days working at the Y, the gentleman (always recognizable in Miami Hurricanes gear) yelled across the lobby, "Who are you?" I introduced myself. "Well, Tuckey," he said, "the coffee pot is not getting as hot as it used to. Fix that and you'll have done something around here." Since that time, we've developed a friendship. We talk regularly about faith, sports, and heating systems. These folks will tell you that they come to this place for exercise, but most importantly they come here to visit their "family." Their friends are here. Their loved ones are here. And the Y wouldn't be the same place without them.
In a recent health journal, two BYU professors reported that social connections can improve our odds of survival by 50 percent (PLoS Medicine). According to them, social isolation or low social interaction compares to these well known risk factors: smoking 15 cigarettes a day, alcoholism, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity.
Will finding a new friend solve your health challenges and ensure a long life? Not necessarily. However, science continues to show that investing in people, valuing relationships, and dedicating time to listening to and learning from others is emotionally and physically beneficial. Humans are hard wired for personal and supernatural connections. Eat healthy, exercise, and don't starve yourself of relationships. It all matters.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Confessions of an Addict
I have two rules when it comes to the latest technology. First, I don't jump in during the first wave of hype. I longed for a smart phone for two years before I bought one. I wait. I watch. I study. And then I make my decision. Second, I am brand-loyal to a fault. I'm a Blackberry guy. And while their market share is dwindling and their stock price is plummeting, I'm still all in. I'll loyally stick with my Blackberry until it goes the way of vinyl records and rotary phones.
In any case, once I'm in, I'm dedicated. I love technology. I communicate via my Blackberry, I share a schedule with my wife on Google Calendar, and I Tweet - even though no one wants to follow me.
On the surface, this can be a good thing. Technology certainly allows me to be more efficient, process information faster, respond more promptly, and get more things done in a day. Beneath the surface, it's a drug. At it's worst, I'm not present with my wife because my eyes are glued to the blinking red light on my phone indicating that important information awaits. I miss a "Dad, watch this" moment with my kids because the alluring buzzing of the phone is distracting me. I am disrespectful to others in meetings because the words on my phone become seemingly more important than the words being spoken.
Once again, it's not the thing (tech junkie) as much as it's the thing beneath the thing. At times, my addiction to technology can be a manifestation of narcissism, materialism, and escapism. The deeper issues are observed in the symptoms of tech-driven distraction and isolation. Unresolved, they pull us away from the human and supernatural relationships that our souls desire. An addiction to the digital world can be a very unhealthy lifestyle, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Howard Mann, author of Your Business Backyard, says "... We've become slaves to our mobile devices and the glow of our screens.... We walk the streets with our heads down staring into 3-inch screens while the world whisks by doing the same. And yet we're convinced we are more connected to each other than ever before. Multi-tasking has become a badge of honor. I want to know why."
I'm not proposing that we give up our digital devices. (The thought is unbearable for me). I am offering that we turn them off sometimes. Over the next 30 days, be challenged to miss the HD TV show for a hike with your family, listen to understand during your next meeting instead of reading emails during the discussion, turn the phone off from the time that you get home from work until the next morning, skip the digital home workout for one with others in a community like the Y, go outside - fall in PA is exceptional, or just be present with your friends and family - making someone feel valued by giving them your time and attention can be life changing.
My brother is a top-of-his-class, Management of Information Systems major at Penn State University. He lives and breathes the digital world. Yet, he'll always choose a phone call over an email when it matters most. He invests his time and focus into his fiance, not just plugging her into his schedule. He uses technology as a tool, but pours himself into relationships as a life. Maybe I'll text him and tell him how much I admire that.
In any case, once I'm in, I'm dedicated. I love technology. I communicate via my Blackberry, I share a schedule with my wife on Google Calendar, and I Tweet - even though no one wants to follow me.
On the surface, this can be a good thing. Technology certainly allows me to be more efficient, process information faster, respond more promptly, and get more things done in a day. Beneath the surface, it's a drug. At it's worst, I'm not present with my wife because my eyes are glued to the blinking red light on my phone indicating that important information awaits. I miss a "Dad, watch this" moment with my kids because the alluring buzzing of the phone is distracting me. I am disrespectful to others in meetings because the words on my phone become seemingly more important than the words being spoken.
Once again, it's not the thing (tech junkie) as much as it's the thing beneath the thing. At times, my addiction to technology can be a manifestation of narcissism, materialism, and escapism. The deeper issues are observed in the symptoms of tech-driven distraction and isolation. Unresolved, they pull us away from the human and supernatural relationships that our souls desire. An addiction to the digital world can be a very unhealthy lifestyle, socially, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
Howard Mann, author of Your Business Backyard, says "... We've become slaves to our mobile devices and the glow of our screens.... We walk the streets with our heads down staring into 3-inch screens while the world whisks by doing the same. And yet we're convinced we are more connected to each other than ever before. Multi-tasking has become a badge of honor. I want to know why."
I'm not proposing that we give up our digital devices. (The thought is unbearable for me). I am offering that we turn them off sometimes. Over the next 30 days, be challenged to miss the HD TV show for a hike with your family, listen to understand during your next meeting instead of reading emails during the discussion, turn the phone off from the time that you get home from work until the next morning, skip the digital home workout for one with others in a community like the Y, go outside - fall in PA is exceptional, or just be present with your friends and family - making someone feel valued by giving them your time and attention can be life changing.
My brother is a top-of-his-class, Management of Information Systems major at Penn State University. He lives and breathes the digital world. Yet, he'll always choose a phone call over an email when it matters most. He invests his time and focus into his fiance, not just plugging her into his schedule. He uses technology as a tool, but pours himself into relationships as a life. Maybe I'll text him and tell him how much I admire that.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Dog Days of Summer
When my wife brought up the idea of getting a dog, I was quick to respond.
"Not a chance," I said. "We have two boys under 6 years old, home repairs, volunteer at our church, and both hold jobs. We're too busy for a dog... can't afford a dog... can't take on more responsibility right now..." At this point, she was no longer listening but, my point was still going to be made. Sure, our boys said they'd help take care of the dog, but I know how that goes. Everyone would cozy up to the pup until it's 10 degrees in February. Then who would be outside chiseling the ice hardened doggie doo off of the walk? It would be me, while the rest of the dog lovers sit inside and sip hot chocolate. No dog.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released the results of a survey that says more than 30% of people are obese in 9 states. In 2007 only 3 states reported obesity levels that high. Mississippi reported the highest levels with 34.4% of the folks obese (USA Today, August 3, 2010). Must be that southern-fried goodness.
Overall, the data suggests that approximately 27% of adults in America are obese. We know that the obesity rate is growing as is the associated health issues which include increased risks of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cancer, and other diseases.
"Obesity is common, serious and costly and affects virtually every system in the adult body," says William Dietz, director of the CDC's Division of Nutrition, Physical Activity and Obesity.
We know the disease (obesity is defined as being 30 pounds over a healthy weight) and we understand the remedy (healthy eating and increased activity). Yet, we just can't put down the cookies. Why?
I thought my wife was appeasing the kids who had been pining for a dog when she asked if we could go visit a dog living with a foster family nearby that she found through Furry Friends Network.
"Let's just visit." She said with pitiful eyes.
"OK with me," I said obligingly, "but, we're still not getting a dog."
Food has become an opiate for the masses in our country. However, we know that it's not really about the food. Food simply becomes something that we shove in our face to try and fill whatever void we have in our lives. Similar to any other addiction, food becomes our crutch. Author Tim Keller calls these things idols that are our functional saviors, the things that we use to save us on a daily basis.
A pastor friend of mine often asks, "what's the thing beneath the thing?" Food is just the thing. It's not obesity, that's a symptom. The disease is rooted much deeper in our own social and emotional issues for which we turn to food to dull the pain - this is the thing beneath the thing.
On the ride home from the foster family, my wife and our two boys were talking delightfully of how Sophie the dog, was just the perfect fit for our family.
"A dog would be great for the boys." My wife said, now turning up the pressure. "It would teach them responsibility. And would cause us to slow down, stay at home more often, spend more time together."
I started to crack, "I don't know..."
Social networks and healthy personal relationships help us find the thing beneath the thing. We need human interaction for encouragement. We seek connectedness for understanding. We require friendships that hold us accountable and challenge us to grow and move forward. We long for relationship with something bigger than ourselves for purpose and meaning. When these relationships are lost in the business of our lives, other things like hopelessness and loss of identity can take root. Too often we feed these unhealthy emotions with fast food and fried chicken to numb ourselves from feeling anything at all.
Any healthy relationship, even those with pets help us become healthier. There are many studies (Can Owning a Pet Help You Live Longer? Mgrath, Jane) that show pet owners are less likely to die from heart disease and other ailments. Why? Even an inhuman relationship helps us deal with our stuff which helps us reduce our stress.
If weight is an issue for you, start with a healthier diet and add more physical activity to your day. But, don't stop there. Find the thing beneath the thing. Dig up the roots of what's causing you to use food as your daily savior. Do it with others. Share your struggle with an old friend. Engage in a healthy community like the Y and meet new friends. Connect with someone in a deeper way to cultivate a new relationship. Join a support group. Or, adopt a pet.
Sophie has thrown up on our carpet twice. The doggie doo doesn't get picked up everyday. There is dog hair on the couch. But, our family rescured a pet together and became closer through the process. Our boys have become more responsible. We stay home more often. The dog has allowed us to just be together more and that's a healthy thing for all of us.
If you see me on a dreary, wet, and cold February morning walking a dog, know that it is worth it. I'll be returning soon to a smiling familiy making hot chocolate who know through experience that relationships matter.
"Not a chance," I said. "We have two boys under 6 years old, home repairs, volunteer at our church, and both hold jobs. We're too busy for a dog... can't afford a dog... can't take on more responsibility right now..." At this point, she was no longer listening but, my point was still going to be made. Sure, our boys said they'd help take care of the dog, but I know how that goes. Everyone would cozy up to the pup until it's 10 degrees in February. Then who would be outside chiseling the ice hardened doggie doo off of the walk? It would be me, while the rest of the dog lovers sit inside and sip hot chocolate. No dog.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recently released the results of a survey that says more than 30% of people are obese in 9 states. In 2007 only 3 states reported obesity levels that high. Mississippi reported the highest levels with 34.4% of the folks obese (USA Today, August 3, 2010). Must be that southern-fried goodness.
Overall, the data suggests that approximately 27% of adults in America are obese. We know that the obesity rate is growing as is the associated health issues which include increased risks of heart disease, type 2 diabetes, cancer, and other diseases.
"Obesity is common, serious and costly and affects virtually every system in the adult body," says William Dietz, director of the CDC's Division of Nutrition, Physical Activity and Obesity.
We know the disease (obesity is defined as being 30 pounds over a healthy weight) and we understand the remedy (healthy eating and increased activity). Yet, we just can't put down the cookies. Why?
I thought my wife was appeasing the kids who had been pining for a dog when she asked if we could go visit a dog living with a foster family nearby that she found through Furry Friends Network.
"Let's just visit." She said with pitiful eyes.
"OK with me," I said obligingly, "but, we're still not getting a dog."
Food has become an opiate for the masses in our country. However, we know that it's not really about the food. Food simply becomes something that we shove in our face to try and fill whatever void we have in our lives. Similar to any other addiction, food becomes our crutch. Author Tim Keller calls these things idols that are our functional saviors, the things that we use to save us on a daily basis.
A pastor friend of mine often asks, "what's the thing beneath the thing?" Food is just the thing. It's not obesity, that's a symptom. The disease is rooted much deeper in our own social and emotional issues for which we turn to food to dull the pain - this is the thing beneath the thing.
On the ride home from the foster family, my wife and our two boys were talking delightfully of how Sophie the dog, was just the perfect fit for our family.
"A dog would be great for the boys." My wife said, now turning up the pressure. "It would teach them responsibility. And would cause us to slow down, stay at home more often, spend more time together."
I started to crack, "I don't know..."
Social networks and healthy personal relationships help us find the thing beneath the thing. We need human interaction for encouragement. We seek connectedness for understanding. We require friendships that hold us accountable and challenge us to grow and move forward. We long for relationship with something bigger than ourselves for purpose and meaning. When these relationships are lost in the business of our lives, other things like hopelessness and loss of identity can take root. Too often we feed these unhealthy emotions with fast food and fried chicken to numb ourselves from feeling anything at all.
Any healthy relationship, even those with pets help us become healthier. There are many studies (Can Owning a Pet Help You Live Longer? Mgrath, Jane) that show pet owners are less likely to die from heart disease and other ailments. Why? Even an inhuman relationship helps us deal with our stuff which helps us reduce our stress.
If weight is an issue for you, start with a healthier diet and add more physical activity to your day. But, don't stop there. Find the thing beneath the thing. Dig up the roots of what's causing you to use food as your daily savior. Do it with others. Share your struggle with an old friend. Engage in a healthy community like the Y and meet new friends. Connect with someone in a deeper way to cultivate a new relationship. Join a support group. Or, adopt a pet.
Sophie has thrown up on our carpet twice. The doggie doo doesn't get picked up everyday. There is dog hair on the couch. But, our family rescured a pet together and became closer through the process. Our boys have become more responsible. We stay home more often. The dog has allowed us to just be together more and that's a healthy thing for all of us.
If you see me on a dreary, wet, and cold February morning walking a dog, know that it is worth it. I'll be returning soon to a smiling familiy making hot chocolate who know through experience that relationships matter.
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