The sawdust puffed from the back and forth of the hand saw on the board wood. My grandfather huffed with each smooth stroke as my 3-year old watched intently. My wife's vision for window seats around our dining room table were coming to fruition, carefully constructed by the years of experience that my grandfather offered to the project. The 3-year old worked quietly alongside, mirroring the tasks, wondering why his plastic tools didn't produce the same results as the heavy steel tools used by his great-grand-dad. I stood by, foreman (runner) of the project, appreciating the multi-generational teaching - the giving and receiving.
Recently, I was getting in an early afternoon workout at the Y. I took my seat on a rowing machine, planning to do a 5-minute cool down. Within a moment, a friend from church, retired dentist, sat next to me. Dentist pays close attention to his physical and mental health, visiting the Y often to exercise both. He began to row next to me, effortlessly. He is a storyteller. Not one that you hope quickly finds the ending of their recount, but one who you're intrigued to ask questions, to ask for another story, to ask for more. We talked of Japan's crisis, of World Wars, and of the world's wars. Stories of horses bought and sold, of weather on the west coast, and of parenting lessons. He's smart, reflective, well seasoned for this season of life. The timer on my rowing machine read 30 minutes, but I didn't care. I rowed on. And listened.
I'm appreciative that the Sentinel runs this blog as a monthly article. I've enjoyed many comments and conversations in the moving of the words from virtual to print. I even received a hand-written note from a former high school teacher, saying that the articles are appreciated and that she uses them in her class to provoke discussion. In her humility, there wasn't mention of the articles being fruits of her (and so many other teachers and mentors) seeding. Gardens of education grown up. Lessons of life being passed on, cultivated, nourished.
A recent headline read, Exercising gets more important with age (Lloyd, Janice, USA Today). The article talked of the importance of continued physical activity as people age for improved physical health and longevity. Conversely, I'd offer another thought headline, The aged are important for our exercise. There is a component of wellness that is found in the circle of giving back, those with more wisdom and experience and life pouring back into those of us with so much left to learn. The rowing helps my heart beat stronger, the conversation with someone whose walked more life than I helps my mind grow deeper.
Health and wellness is found in not only the physical, but the emotional, social, and spiritual. The next time you invest in exercise, carve out time to step beyond a solitary regiment of activity. Consider adding to your workout the opportunity to seek out and listen to the aged, the seasoned, the experienced. Proverbs 2:2-3 reads, "Tune your ears to wisdom, and concentrate on understanding. Cry out for insight and ask for understanding."
Much to the chagrin of my wife, I am not home improvement guy. My construction of the widow seats would have consisted of calling for price quotes. But, on this day, I was glad that I'm not skilled in carpentry. I learned more from watching and the lessons had nothing to do with woodworking.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Connecting to Better Health
I recently had a business lunch meeting at a local restaurant. I noticed two couples eating at adjacent tables. At one table, a couple sat across from each other and the silence was only broken when they ordered and asked for more napkins. At another table, a couple sat on the same side of the table (a rarity in our culture) and talked throughout the meal. While I am not aware of the circumstances surrounding either meal, the observable difference was in the connection between the individuals. When my wife and I were dating, I would take her to breakfast and I'd buy a newspaper beforehand to read during the meal. Over time, she taught me that it was important to her that we use that time to connect, not isolate and read. To this day, when we go out to dinner as a family, my tendency is to allow the kids to take the video games and for me to manage the chaos until the meal is over. My wife leans toward leaving the video games at home, everyone being present, and sharing about the happenings of our days (and sometimes intentionally allowing some chaos to occur)! The difference is in the opportunity that we're giving our family to connect.
My pastor friend often talks of the life cycle of someone new to church. They'll come, they may like what they find and stay, and they may even check out a program or two. This will last for some time, but the engagement will fade unless there is a deeper connection. To this end, people are encouraged to join a community group or commit to serving in a ministry area. If they find a deeper connection in community, they stay. If they don't connect with others, they eventually move on.
A recent article in the New York Times asked if gyms are passe (New York Times, Catherine Saint Louis, January 26, 2001)? One gym owner said this, "Now everybody is plugged in... now they come to disassociate themselves from everyone... it's killing the health club..." The article goes on the argue that while there is a market for the anti-social approach to fitness, that socializing is still the key to long-term exercise success. Casey Conrad, a fitness industry consultant says, "There's no question that the social element is a huge, huge piece to getting participation. I travel a lot, and when I miss a yoga class [at my gym], they are like, 'Casey, where have you been?" Other industry experts reported that people have to have the opportunity to be challenged while connecting in a meaningful way to others. A personal trainer stated that the environment was important, but ultimately, "It's about connection."
If your exercise resolutions are fading and your commitments to wellness are waning, try connecting for better health. In each community that you are a part of, find a way to connect at a deeper level. Find a gym where you can work out while also connecting to others in am meaningful way. When you go out to eat, make healthy food choices by choosing fresh, nutritionally rich menu options while also making healthy relational choices by leaving the newspaper at home and connecting with the person that you are with.
My pastor friend often talks of the life cycle of someone new to church. They'll come, they may like what they find and stay, and they may even check out a program or two. This will last for some time, but the engagement will fade unless there is a deeper connection. To this end, people are encouraged to join a community group or commit to serving in a ministry area. If they find a deeper connection in community, they stay. If they don't connect with others, they eventually move on.
A recent article in the New York Times asked if gyms are passe (New York Times, Catherine Saint Louis, January 26, 2001)? One gym owner said this, "Now everybody is plugged in... now they come to disassociate themselves from everyone... it's killing the health club..." The article goes on the argue that while there is a market for the anti-social approach to fitness, that socializing is still the key to long-term exercise success. Casey Conrad, a fitness industry consultant says, "There's no question that the social element is a huge, huge piece to getting participation. I travel a lot, and when I miss a yoga class [at my gym], they are like, 'Casey, where have you been?" Other industry experts reported that people have to have the opportunity to be challenged while connecting in a meaningful way to others. A personal trainer stated that the environment was important, but ultimately, "It's about connection."
If your exercise resolutions are fading and your commitments to wellness are waning, try connecting for better health. In each community that you are a part of, find a way to connect at a deeper level. Find a gym where you can work out while also connecting to others in am meaningful way. When you go out to eat, make healthy food choices by choosing fresh, nutritionally rich menu options while also making healthy relational choices by leaving the newspaper at home and connecting with the person that you are with.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Finding More in Less
There are days when I long for the simplicity of life that my kids enjoy. They love their parents and gain security through the love that they receive from us. They're eager to learn, grow, discover the world through the joy of play. They laugh at each other and at themselves. They imagine themselves in exciting adventures. They're fully awake and present until the moment that they finally drift off to sleep at night. Their lives are simple. Their joy of living isn't choked out by the weeds of stress and worry. In their innocence, they make simple choices that provide them with a better reality.
My wife is reading a book entitled, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are (Voskamp, Ann). The book is about finding hope in the ordinary. The author started the book on a dare to keep a list of the many things that bring her joy. The list contains many ordinary things like the sun shining through the window, the smell of cookies baking, or a beautiful landscape that you see on a summer stroll. The book focuses on finding joy and experiencing happiness through being attentive to the thousands of blessings that we have each day. She makes simple choices of gratitude that provide her with a more joyful reality.
Rueters recently ran an article that also discussed simple changes that can change our reality for the better. (Kelland, Kate. Simple Life Changes Could Stop Millions of Cancers). The article says that about one-third of all common cancers can be prevented through simple life changes such as eating healthier, drinking less alcohol, and exercising more. Cancer is the leading cause of death around the world, killing 7.6 million people each year. This number is projected to climb to 13.2 million people a year in 2030. Low levels of physical activity are the leading cause of many of these cancers. (The World Health Organization recommends that adults get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week). In short, simple changes can save your life.
Consider the time that you have on this earth and what story you are writing with your life. Make small changes to write a better story. (Thanks to Don Miller for this illustration). Learn from children to laugh at yourself and with others. Create more margin in your life and be thankful for the ordinary. Do your part to prevent cancer: eat healthier, stop smoking, walk more. Find more life in simplicity!
My wife is reading a book entitled, One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are (Voskamp, Ann). The book is about finding hope in the ordinary. The author started the book on a dare to keep a list of the many things that bring her joy. The list contains many ordinary things like the sun shining through the window, the smell of cookies baking, or a beautiful landscape that you see on a summer stroll. The book focuses on finding joy and experiencing happiness through being attentive to the thousands of blessings that we have each day. She makes simple choices of gratitude that provide her with a more joyful reality.
Rueters recently ran an article that also discussed simple changes that can change our reality for the better. (Kelland, Kate. Simple Life Changes Could Stop Millions of Cancers). The article says that about one-third of all common cancers can be prevented through simple life changes such as eating healthier, drinking less alcohol, and exercising more. Cancer is the leading cause of death around the world, killing 7.6 million people each year. This number is projected to climb to 13.2 million people a year in 2030. Low levels of physical activity are the leading cause of many of these cancers. (The World Health Organization recommends that adults get 150 minutes of moderate exercise a week). In short, simple changes can save your life.
Consider the time that you have on this earth and what story you are writing with your life. Make small changes to write a better story. (Thanks to Don Miller for this illustration). Learn from children to laugh at yourself and with others. Create more margin in your life and be thankful for the ordinary. Do your part to prevent cancer: eat healthier, stop smoking, walk more. Find more life in simplicity!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
A Different Kind of Strength
After seeing a YouTube clip of the the memorable crane-kick scene of the original Karate Kid, my five-year-old son begged me to watch the entire movie. While I immediately broke out my checkered Vans, stone-washed jeans, loaded up the "You're the Best" theme song, and prepared to enjoy the movie with my son; my wife was hesitant. "They're not going to get it, our boys will just end up doing karate on each other." After a month of my wife getting sad eyes from my sons and persuasive arguments from me about the positive themes of the film, she caved. We rented the 2010 version and watched the movie together. If anyone hasn't seen the movie (and I can't imagine a scenario where someone could not have seen any film in the Karate Kid series), the premise is that work causes a single mom to move to China and her young son finds himself scared, confused, and in a place of experiencing great weakness. He turns to Kung Fu, taught to him by a maintenance man master. The boy finds life lessons and strength through his relationship with the master. After a week of time outs for the boys doing karate on each other, we had a family discussion about the lessons of the movie. First, as Mr. Han said, "The best fights are the ones we avoid." Next, an important lesson was that the boy found a strength in someone else that he couldn't have found in himself. He found strength beyond anything that he could possess on his own through another person.
I recently read a blog authored by a friend, John Ulsh. John was living the American Dream with a wonderful family and a successful career when on December, 2007, John and his family were hit head-on while driving home from a swim meet. John was flown to Hershey Medical Center with little chance of survival. His family had serious, but less threatening injuries. John now maintains a blog (http://remotivate.wordpress.com/) where he discusses his recovery from a variety of aspects. It's powerful and motivational. I particularly enjoyed this excerpt from a recent post: "Trust is always easier when things are going well or when things are so bad that you are unable to do things for yourself. Trust becomes a completely different thing when it is blind or when you could just do it yourself, but instead put your faith in another person or process. I trust God has a plan. I believe my calling is to live each day with passion and conviction and to be open to His plan in every experience." His blog reflects a self-reliant, successful man forced to depend on others in ways that he might never have imagined. Yet, through the process he finds strength beyond anything he could possess on his own.
The same storyline appears in Scripture. In 2 Corinthians 12 (NLT), the apostle Paul talks of a struggle that he is having, a weakness he is experiencing, a "thorn in his flesh." Paul writes, "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me." This revelation was a perspective-changer for Paul to say the least. Instead of asking God to relieve him of his weakness, he embraced the weakness because he knew a greater power was found in something other than himself.
This storyline unfolds daily at places like the Carlisle Family YMCA. Someone can purchase a workout DVD and will themselves to exercise in their living room. Some are successful. Many are not. Conversely, when people enter into community, their will and motivation is increased as it is pulled from others during times of weakness. This is easily identified in pursuit of a physical goal (Don't feel like running today? It's much more likely you won't bail if you are supposed to do it with a friend). However, the idea of finding emotional and spiritual strength in our own weakness flourishes in communities like the Y as well. (Just see the uncertain child gaining confidence from participating in a team sport or the teen increasing their faith from a corporate outing with their peers at camp or the notes of encouragement pulled together by friends when someone from their group has been absent for a time) These moments are wrapped in humility, respect, and a maturity to recognize that this life isn't about you. It's about something more. And as you experience that, you find a different kind of strength - a strength that can only be found in weakness.
I recently read a blog authored by a friend, John Ulsh. John was living the American Dream with a wonderful family and a successful career when on December, 2007, John and his family were hit head-on while driving home from a swim meet. John was flown to Hershey Medical Center with little chance of survival. His family had serious, but less threatening injuries. John now maintains a blog (http://remotivate.wordpress.com/) where he discusses his recovery from a variety of aspects. It's powerful and motivational. I particularly enjoyed this excerpt from a recent post: "Trust is always easier when things are going well or when things are so bad that you are unable to do things for yourself. Trust becomes a completely different thing when it is blind or when you could just do it yourself, but instead put your faith in another person or process. I trust God has a plan. I believe my calling is to live each day with passion and conviction and to be open to His plan in every experience." His blog reflects a self-reliant, successful man forced to depend on others in ways that he might never have imagined. Yet, through the process he finds strength beyond anything he could possess on his own.
The same storyline appears in Scripture. In 2 Corinthians 12 (NLT), the apostle Paul talks of a struggle that he is having, a weakness he is experiencing, a "thorn in his flesh." Paul writes, "Three different times I begged the Lord to take it away. Each time he said, 'My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.' So now I am glad to boast about my weakness, so that the power of Christ can work through me." This revelation was a perspective-changer for Paul to say the least. Instead of asking God to relieve him of his weakness, he embraced the weakness because he knew a greater power was found in something other than himself.
This storyline unfolds daily at places like the Carlisle Family YMCA. Someone can purchase a workout DVD and will themselves to exercise in their living room. Some are successful. Many are not. Conversely, when people enter into community, their will and motivation is increased as it is pulled from others during times of weakness. This is easily identified in pursuit of a physical goal (Don't feel like running today? It's much more likely you won't bail if you are supposed to do it with a friend). However, the idea of finding emotional and spiritual strength in our own weakness flourishes in communities like the Y as well. (Just see the uncertain child gaining confidence from participating in a team sport or the teen increasing their faith from a corporate outing with their peers at camp or the notes of encouragement pulled together by friends when someone from their group has been absent for a time) These moments are wrapped in humility, respect, and a maturity to recognize that this life isn't about you. It's about something more. And as you experience that, you find a different kind of strength - a strength that can only be found in weakness.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Short Term Pain Equals Long Term Change
It is my second year as a volunteer Youth Basketball Coach at the Y. It's so much fun to have the opportunity to coach my son, as well as interact with the other kids. Last Saturday, our first game was about to begin. One 5-year-old was struggling with a case of the nerves and was crying to go home. His mother brought him to me and explained the situation. I asked the young man if he would just stick around and sit with his mom. If he felt better later, then he could come over and join the team. It wasn't long before the nerves were gone and this little guy was on the bench ready to play. He got in the game, our team scored some points, and everyone was cheering, high-fiving, and having fun. At the end of the first quarter, with the team seated on the bench, the same young man spoke up. "Coach," he said somewhat out of breath, "this is the greatest day of my life."
I have a friend who is estranged from his daughter. Following a family tragedy, the daughter made many poor and destructive decisions many of which have been difficult for the remaining family to forgive. After years of non-communication, my friend has initiated connection and family counseling with his daughter. My friend knows full well that the next steps involve pain, fear, and raw emotion that has been ignored for far too long. But, he knows that at the end of that road lies hope and reconciliation.
Many people come into the Y with the New Year's Resolution of losing weight or becoming more fit. There are countless stories of people who started with a similar goal and have transformed that goal into significant life change. They become healthier in spirit, mind, and body. However, the road to a new you is painful at the start. It involves trading new, healthier foods for the comfort foods you crave. It involves making time for activity and exercise in what is already terribly busy schedules. For many other people, the resolutions unfortunately fizzle in the sometimes difficult first steps. But, for those who stick with it, small changes lead to different attitudes and behaviors that lead to healthier people.
I know people who have recently given up the chew. After a very difficult first 30 days of nervousness, shaky hands, and foul moods, the cravings lightened and the time and money previously spent on an addiction was directed toward other, more meaningful things. And they didn't have to worry about the spit cup spilling on the carpet, a definite bonus.
The point is simple. Change means facing our fears and moving from the comfortable to the uncomfortable. Change involves persevering through tough first steps. Getting to the "better" often means having a willingness to deal with the "worse." A mentor says that we bury our issues in our backyards thinking that we can hide them. Of course, the issues don't go away, they just poison the well. The only way to take care of this is to dig up our issues and deal with them. This involves time, effort, and an openness to working through the junk in our lives. But, at the end of the day their is something better, something more than the mundane of getting through another day.
So, if it's deep emotional things that you are wrestling with, a resolution to be healthier, or if it's just a bit of anxiety over the first basketball game, I'd encourage you to strive through the painful beginnings because in the end, you might just find "the best day of your life!"
I have a friend who is estranged from his daughter. Following a family tragedy, the daughter made many poor and destructive decisions many of which have been difficult for the remaining family to forgive. After years of non-communication, my friend has initiated connection and family counseling with his daughter. My friend knows full well that the next steps involve pain, fear, and raw emotion that has been ignored for far too long. But, he knows that at the end of that road lies hope and reconciliation.
Many people come into the Y with the New Year's Resolution of losing weight or becoming more fit. There are countless stories of people who started with a similar goal and have transformed that goal into significant life change. They become healthier in spirit, mind, and body. However, the road to a new you is painful at the start. It involves trading new, healthier foods for the comfort foods you crave. It involves making time for activity and exercise in what is already terribly busy schedules. For many other people, the resolutions unfortunately fizzle in the sometimes difficult first steps. But, for those who stick with it, small changes lead to different attitudes and behaviors that lead to healthier people.
I know people who have recently given up the chew. After a very difficult first 30 days of nervousness, shaky hands, and foul moods, the cravings lightened and the time and money previously spent on an addiction was directed toward other, more meaningful things. And they didn't have to worry about the spit cup spilling on the carpet, a definite bonus.
The point is simple. Change means facing our fears and moving from the comfortable to the uncomfortable. Change involves persevering through tough first steps. Getting to the "better" often means having a willingness to deal with the "worse." A mentor says that we bury our issues in our backyards thinking that we can hide them. Of course, the issues don't go away, they just poison the well. The only way to take care of this is to dig up our issues and deal with them. This involves time, effort, and an openness to working through the junk in our lives. But, at the end of the day their is something better, something more than the mundane of getting through another day.
So, if it's deep emotional things that you are wrestling with, a resolution to be healthier, or if it's just a bit of anxiety over the first basketball game, I'd encourage you to strive through the painful beginnings because in the end, you might just find "the best day of your life!"
Monday, November 22, 2010
Traditions
When my wife and I were dating, she told me about a tradition that her family celebrated during birthdays. When it was your birthday, after you took your first bite of cake, if anyone could make you talk before you finished your piece of cake, you had to finish eating your cake under the table. Huh? While a bit afraid of what future gatherings with the in-laws might become, I chalked it up to the fact that they were from Wisconsin and I married her anyway (luckily)! When the average annual temperature in Northern Wisconsin is 39 degrees F, I guess there isn't much to do except celebrate quirky, eat-your-cake-under-the-table traditions.
An editorial by Rainer Kocsis reads, "Tradition is generally defined as long-standing beliefs, practices or customs that have been passed on from one generation to the next. As humans begin to understand a heretofore unknown world of medical marvels and instant communication, traditions are being lost as humans misunderstand the value of tradition." We live in a culture where innovation often trumps tradition and not always to the benefit of society.
Traditions create bonds and facilitate memories. They deepen relationships and provide motivation to connect. In short, traditions are the underpinnings for healthy communities as they weave us together in a common way.
When this article prints, the Y will have held our 8th Annual Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. The event has grown from a few hundred participants to an anticipated 1,700 friends, families, and neighbors this year. The event have moved beyond a way to get a bit of exercise before a big Thanksgiving meal, to an event that the community celebrates. Awareness is raised for good causes as teams of people where color coordinated shirts during the race! People in costume heighten the festivities and entertain the kids! Smaller communities of churches and neighborhoods and coworkers and friends come together in a larger gathering to celebrate the day and be thankful for what we too often take for granted, all while strengthening the foundations of community through honoring traditions.
This holiday season, be intentional about honoring, celebrating, or even creating traditions with your family or friends. One of our friends takes strips of paper and writes something that they are thankful for each day throughout the holiday season, culminating in a paper chain of thankfulness that they string across their living room. At our home, we have birthday cake on Christmas morning to celebrate the the birth of Jesus. (While we value the faith focus that this tradition brings, we're still not certain that the additional sugar load on Christmas morning is a good idea for the lil' ones. And we haven't yet figured out how to explain why Jesus would want us to sit under the table to eat cake). We used to live in Las Vegas, a very transient city, and a former coworker always had a large holiday celebration where they invited everyone that they knew that didn't have family local. It was a great time. Another family that we know chooses a toy or piece of clothing that they like and that is in good condition and boxes them up for a family in need, symbolizing the value of not just giving off the top, but giving something of value and importance.
This season, hold onto positive, healthy traditions. Whether it's running a 5k in a Pilgrim costume or eating your birthday cake under the table, it's in these moments that our stories are written... and valued... and remembered. Happy Holidays!
An editorial by Rainer Kocsis reads, "Tradition is generally defined as long-standing beliefs, practices or customs that have been passed on from one generation to the next. As humans begin to understand a heretofore unknown world of medical marvels and instant communication, traditions are being lost as humans misunderstand the value of tradition." We live in a culture where innovation often trumps tradition and not always to the benefit of society.
Traditions create bonds and facilitate memories. They deepen relationships and provide motivation to connect. In short, traditions are the underpinnings for healthy communities as they weave us together in a common way.
When this article prints, the Y will have held our 8th Annual Turkey Trot on Thanksgiving morning. The event has grown from a few hundred participants to an anticipated 1,700 friends, families, and neighbors this year. The event have moved beyond a way to get a bit of exercise before a big Thanksgiving meal, to an event that the community celebrates. Awareness is raised for good causes as teams of people where color coordinated shirts during the race! People in costume heighten the festivities and entertain the kids! Smaller communities of churches and neighborhoods and coworkers and friends come together in a larger gathering to celebrate the day and be thankful for what we too often take for granted, all while strengthening the foundations of community through honoring traditions.
This holiday season, be intentional about honoring, celebrating, or even creating traditions with your family or friends. One of our friends takes strips of paper and writes something that they are thankful for each day throughout the holiday season, culminating in a paper chain of thankfulness that they string across their living room. At our home, we have birthday cake on Christmas morning to celebrate the the birth of Jesus. (While we value the faith focus that this tradition brings, we're still not certain that the additional sugar load on Christmas morning is a good idea for the lil' ones. And we haven't yet figured out how to explain why Jesus would want us to sit under the table to eat cake). We used to live in Las Vegas, a very transient city, and a former coworker always had a large holiday celebration where they invited everyone that they knew that didn't have family local. It was a great time. Another family that we know chooses a toy or piece of clothing that they like and that is in good condition and boxes them up for a family in need, symbolizing the value of not just giving off the top, but giving something of value and importance.
This season, hold onto positive, healthy traditions. Whether it's running a 5k in a Pilgrim costume or eating your birthday cake under the table, it's in these moments that our stories are written... and valued... and remembered. Happy Holidays!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
The Healthiest People I Know
There is a group of people that frequent the Y who are fondly referred to as the breakfast bunch. They spend a few hours at the Y most weekday mornings, but physical exercise occupies only a portion of their time. They arrive before sunrise and warmly greet each other, making small talk with the Y staff along the way. They each get their workout in, ranging from shooting hoops to lap swimming to visiting the Fitness Center. After showering, they gather at the tables in the lobby and wind down the morning sharing about their weeks, their families, and their lives. Sometimes, they follow up their Y visit by going out to breakfast. They enjoy their time together. I believe this is the healthiest group of people at the Y.
In spite of technology that allows us to connect with more people, more efficiently, we are a society of individuals becoming increasingly isolated. Busy schedules prevent deepening relationships and friendships become categorized networks. This is unhealthy.
Scientifically, we began to see the ill effects of isolation from Dr. Lisa Berman's Alameda County Study (originally published 1979). In the study, her team looked at the lives of 7,000 people in Alameda County over 9 years. They studied the quantity (number of relationships) and quality (depth of relationships) that these people had developed. In short, the study showed that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die versus those with stronger, healthier social bonds. Variables proved irrelevant, both in age and lifestyle. "The protective value of connection [relationships] showed, under statistical multivariate analysis, to be present in all ages [30-69]... [and] even in the presence of health hazards such as smoking, obesity, alcohol use, poverty, poor use of health services, and poor health at the start of the study, people who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than those who did not." (Hallowell, Edward M. Connect).
The key to those who were most healthy and lived longer were those who had several kinds of connections. These included churches, family, friends, clubs, service groups, and similar social organizations. The connections varied from person to person, but ultimately the more deep relationships, the better. Those who were in the most danger of dying were the 10-15% who were most isolated. Similar studies conducted internationally have replicated these findings over the past 30 years. (Hallowell, Connect).
There is a retired couple who comes into the Y daily. During my first days working at the Y, the gentleman (always recognizable in Miami Hurricanes gear) yelled across the lobby, "Who are you?" I introduced myself. "Well, Tuckey," he said, "the coffee pot is not getting as hot as it used to. Fix that and you'll have done something around here." Since that time, we've developed a friendship. We talk regularly about faith, sports, and heating systems. These folks will tell you that they come to this place for exercise, but most importantly they come here to visit their "family." Their friends are here. Their loved ones are here. And the Y wouldn't be the same place without them.
In a recent health journal, two BYU professors reported that social connections can improve our odds of survival by 50 percent (PLoS Medicine). According to them, social isolation or low social interaction compares to these well known risk factors: smoking 15 cigarettes a day, alcoholism, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity.
Will finding a new friend solve your health challenges and ensure a long life? Not necessarily. However, science continues to show that investing in people, valuing relationships, and dedicating time to listening to and learning from others is emotionally and physically beneficial. Humans are hard wired for personal and supernatural connections. Eat healthy, exercise, and don't starve yourself of relationships. It all matters.
In spite of technology that allows us to connect with more people, more efficiently, we are a society of individuals becoming increasingly isolated. Busy schedules prevent deepening relationships and friendships become categorized networks. This is unhealthy.
Scientifically, we began to see the ill effects of isolation from Dr. Lisa Berman's Alameda County Study (originally published 1979). In the study, her team looked at the lives of 7,000 people in Alameda County over 9 years. They studied the quantity (number of relationships) and quality (depth of relationships) that these people had developed. In short, the study showed that the most isolated people were three times more likely to die versus those with stronger, healthier social bonds. Variables proved irrelevant, both in age and lifestyle. "The protective value of connection [relationships] showed, under statistical multivariate analysis, to be present in all ages [30-69]... [and] even in the presence of health hazards such as smoking, obesity, alcohol use, poverty, poor use of health services, and poor health at the start of the study, people who had strong social ties lived significantly longer than those who did not." (Hallowell, Edward M. Connect).
The key to those who were most healthy and lived longer were those who had several kinds of connections. These included churches, family, friends, clubs, service groups, and similar social organizations. The connections varied from person to person, but ultimately the more deep relationships, the better. Those who were in the most danger of dying were the 10-15% who were most isolated. Similar studies conducted internationally have replicated these findings over the past 30 years. (Hallowell, Connect).
There is a retired couple who comes into the Y daily. During my first days working at the Y, the gentleman (always recognizable in Miami Hurricanes gear) yelled across the lobby, "Who are you?" I introduced myself. "Well, Tuckey," he said, "the coffee pot is not getting as hot as it used to. Fix that and you'll have done something around here." Since that time, we've developed a friendship. We talk regularly about faith, sports, and heating systems. These folks will tell you that they come to this place for exercise, but most importantly they come here to visit their "family." Their friends are here. Their loved ones are here. And the Y wouldn't be the same place without them.
In a recent health journal, two BYU professors reported that social connections can improve our odds of survival by 50 percent (PLoS Medicine). According to them, social isolation or low social interaction compares to these well known risk factors: smoking 15 cigarettes a day, alcoholism, more harmful than not exercising, and twice as harmful as obesity.
Will finding a new friend solve your health challenges and ensure a long life? Not necessarily. However, science continues to show that investing in people, valuing relationships, and dedicating time to listening to and learning from others is emotionally and physically beneficial. Humans are hard wired for personal and supernatural connections. Eat healthy, exercise, and don't starve yourself of relationships. It all matters.
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